The topic of dating among Christians can be quite challenging to address, especially with the prevalence of something called "Christian dating" being promoted by some pastors. Even if we present the truth about dating, many Christians might struggle to accept it due to their emotions. Recently, I had a conversation with a pastor who suggested that we shouldn't make everything overly spiritual and questioned how one could know if someone is suitable for marriage without dating them. This made me wonder if it's better to just avoid discussing the matter altogether.
However, since the topic has resurfaced, it's essential to guide people away from the pitfalls of romantic emotions. When we look beyond satisfying our emotional desires, what other reasons are there for dating someone? According to the dictionary, dating involves a romantic courtship between two individuals to assess their suitability as partners in an intimate relationship. However, dating often lacks the commitment and legal binding of marriage, making it prone to being easily broken off.
Many young Christians who were spiritually strong have become spiritually cold due to dating, especially when relationships end. This distraction is precisely why the Apostle Paul warns against it. While marriage is permissible in the kingdom, it can still distract individuals from pursuing their kingdom assignments, especially for young people who should be discovering their potential in Christ.
According to Apostle Paul, when one reaches a certain age and can no longer control their desires, it's better to marry than to fall into sin. But if you haven't reached that point, haven't discovered your identity in Christ, or haven't found your purpose, those feelings might just be a trap. In God's order, work comes before finding a spouse. If your emotions hinder you from discovering your purpose, it's crucial to address them and prioritize sanctifying your life for God's purposes.
Courtship, on the other hand, is a process of validating love before marriage. Unlike dating, courtship involves various factors such as parental approval, health considerations, and compatibility checks. It's essential to understand that you don't need to date someone to determine if you can marry them. You can simply be friends and learn everything you need to know about them. Once you've made a decision, you can initiate the courtship process.
During courtship, it's like being in a courtroom. Jesus acts as the Advocate, while God serves as the Judge. The proposed and the proposer act as the accused and the accuser, respectively. The jury comprises pastors, family, parents, and friends. Both parties must confide in Jesus and be open to reproof from Him. It's a time to learn deeper things about each other and address any potential issues that may arise.
If you discover something unfavorable during courtship, you can withdraw from the relationship. However, it's essential to seek God's guidance through prayer before making any decisions. A broken courtship may cause pain, but it's better than entering into a broken marriage. Unlike dating, where you may invest a lot only to realize it won't work out, courtship allows you to discern and decide without regrets.
In conclusion, let's prioritize the kingdom and heed Apostle Paul's warning that time is short and there's much to do. Instead of allowing our emotions to consume us, let's focus on developing spiritual gifts that will bring others to Christ.
I hope this sheds light on the subject for someone.
Remain blessed in Jesus' name!
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